I was a 28-year-old mom loving life. It was 2009. My husband, Matt, and I had four kids in five years. Tyler was 5, Audrey 3, Connor 1 1/2 and Karis 8 months. I loved the challenge of it. I loved having them close together and I thought we would have another. Every day, my life was alive and living in the fast lane, ready, set go. I loved being a mom more than anything in the world.
The surgeon reassured me it would be a simple surgery. I was thankful because I didn’t have time to slow down. I was homeschooling the two older children and the two youngest were in diapers.
Immediately after my gum grafts, I had a series of unexplained migraines followed by severe abdominal pain and debilitating fatigue that shut my body down for days. We made several trips to the ER and a “tour” of doctor’s visits. We began rounds of tests including MRI’s, CT scans, endoscopy’s, colonoscopy’s, HIDA scans, blood tests, stool tests and more. Everything came back normal. Each specialist put me on rounds of medication to try to control the symptoms but there was no improvement.
The migraines continued. The abdominal pain stopped me in my tracks. The fatigue made me feel like I was on constant sleeping pills. I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep until it was all over. But I was a mom and my kids needed me. Moms don’t get to crawl into bed. I learned during that time that I was stronger than I ever knew, that I was more determined than I ever realized and that I would always say, “I can.” The minute I started saying, “I can’t,” it would be a downward spiral and I was going to be strong for my babies. So, I pressed on. I got up every morning, fed them, taught them, bathed them, took them to all their activities and continued as normal, in excruciating pain.
This is not to say that I was not grieving because my children were growing up with memories of their mommy who was mentally and emotionally exhausted. This is not to say that I wasn’t worried that their memories of me would be of me always being ill. There were days I would do school with them from the bed or couch. As soon as my husband got home from work I would curl up in bed. My grief was deep and I wanted my life back, the life where I was healthy and full of zest and the life where I felt like I could conquer the world. But this made me persevere even more. I was determined to find answers.
The symptoms continued but now I was also having flulike symptoms. I felt sickly every day. Some days I could barely walk up the stairs in my own house. All of my childhood allergies started coming back and I began to react to chemicals, fragrances and foods. I had to radically change my diet.
I began to turn to alternative practitioners; I tried NAET, chiropractic, acupuncture, physical therapy, a functional medicine doctor, and a compounding pharmacist that did consulting. I bought lots of supplements hoping and praying I would get some relief. Still, no improvement
As more time passed, I was truly feeling like a failure to my husband and children. I wanted to feel better because I was worn out, but mostly, I wanted to be better for my family. I constantly worried about my two older children whom I was homeschooling and doubted our decision to homeschool. I questioned whether I should put them in public or private school because often there were days that we started school and I had to stop to nap because I was physically and mentally unable to make my body function. Eventually I knew my children needed more than I was able to give them. My husband and I decided to incorporate homeschooling co-ops to fill the gaps, but many days I had to leave early to go home to lay down.
I began to get angry, yet I consistently reminded my kids that even though Mommy was sick, God’s plan is always best. I never wanted them to doubt God’s goodness, even as I was struggling with my own faith and grief.
I reminded myself that God knows everything about me and what my body was fighting on the inside was something He could fix. I just didn’t not know if He would. Even when it seems as if God is not there or not working or answering prayers He is and I knew I had to keep speaking the Truth to myself and trusting Him.
After two years of pain and sickness, in my search for answers, I finally found Dr. Z who is a rheumatologist by trade but also specialized in Lyme disease and other autoimmune diseases. Suspecting Lyme, she started me on Doxycycline right away. She listened to my story and began treating me one to two times a week immediately with IVs that were homeopathic and anti-bacterial/viral/fungal. They also contained minerals and vitamins that my body desperately needed along with pushes of glutathione. Finally, I found the help that I needed. But anyone with chronic late stage Lyme knows that there is no quick fix.
I worked with Dr. Zackrison for 8 years and although it was slow going I finally got my life back. Dr. Z not only treated me for Lyme Disease but also for co-infections, candida, heavy metal toxicity, parasites and more. Through proper research and diagnosis, she helped me to strengthened my body with antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, herbs and homeopathies. I also worked with a team of two neurologists to get the migraines down to two per week (Dr. Aguilera in Fredericksburg VA and Dr. Marmura at the Jefferson Headache Center in PA). This took a combination of several oral medications as well as Botox and a monthly injection called Aimovig. After 10 years, the migraines no longer keep me down daily, even though there are specific triggers in my life that can cause one instantaneously. Finally, another Lyme specialist, Dr. Fletcher, recommended by Dr. Zackrison, was able to help me jump over the last hump of fatigue and digestive distress with visceral release and ozone. Dr. Z now does ozone in her office as well, because it was helping so many patients.
During my ozone IV, the nurse put in the IV, extracted a full bag of blood, inserted ozone, mixed it with my blood, and put the blood back into my body. It’s amazing how dark, almost black my blood was until it was mixed with the ozone and then it was a bright healthy red. I also want to mention here that I had struggled with extreme bloating and constipation for years and was dependent on colonics for many years. I continued sessions with Dr. Fletcher for visceral release. My bowels started moving on their own. This was the first time in years that I didn’t have to use the colonic/hydrotherapy device. I felt like a normal person!!!
It was hard to recognize the progress at first because it was so slow. Like I said, I worked with Dr. Z for 8 years, killing off Lyme and coinfections as well as candida and parasites. I had to look back every year and I could say “yes, I’m better than I was a few years ago.” I had to tell myself, it’s not much, but there is a little progress.” Now I look back and think, “I don’t know how I lived every day with a constant migraine.” I am so thankful that I am far beyond where I was ten years ago.”
Now, ten years has past and I am able to celebrate. We are able to travel and experience a family vacation; something that was extremely hard for me in the past years. I celebrate that I am functioning well enough to go back to work fulltime. Encouraged that I could finally take on the endeavor, I have accepted a full-time position and am able to fully work a forty-hour work week and finally enjoy summer with my children. Each day, I am gaining more of my health back as I am getting stronger and feel like I am a functioning adult again. My husband and children have helped me with the medical trials I have faced and overcome. Even when I feel like I am still lagging, I can remember how far I have come and have the right people to help me seek answers.
The best lesson I have learned through my journey is to be thankful for each healthy day with my family, my children and my friends. I have learned never to give up and always keep moving forward. For my full story of overcoming Lyme Disease including all the treatments I tried, what worked what didn’t, all of the doctors I saw including both conventional and alternative, look for my book, Though the Mountains be Shaken at this link https://amzn.to/2x3PeDG or on the Barnes and Noble website here.
Wishing you the best!
This is a guest post by Ariel Selwyn.
Do you want to share your story about your struggles with a chronic illness? Reach out to hello@jesskotzer.com and get your story posted on ItsNotJustLyme.com today